I also could speak as you do if your soul were in my soul´s place. I could heap up words against you, and shake my head at you; but I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief. (Job 16:4-5)
Obviously one of the purposes of Job is to teach us how not to minister to someone who is suffering. Job’s friends blew it. They did well in coming to see Job and in sitting with him for seven days (2:13). That in itself is amazing to me. They got off to such a good start but then they started talking…and that’s when their trouble began.
The friends saw their purpose as “fixing” Job’s situation. Job’s problem was some secret, unknown sin. In their minds, no one could suffer like Job suffered without being under some kind of divine punishment for sin. Thus, Job’s problem was sin and the solution was his repentance. Their wrong interpretation of the situation led them to harp on Job, confront him, and basically condemn him. What should they have done?
Job tells them…and in the process teaches us how to deal with people who are suffering. We are to strengthen and comfort them with our words. Strength and comfort. Suffering people need strength to keep moving forward. They need comfort to know that they are still loved and cared for. I can’t help but think of Jonathan coming to David when he was at one of his lowest points emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Then Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God (1 Samuel 23:16). Jonathan encouraged David by coming–by being present with him–and by strengthening his hand in God.
Job’s situation is tough. I am not sure how he could have been encouraged in the midst of such extreme grief. But simply having friends nearby who listen, encourage, and help is far more beneficial than having friends who sit around analyzing your situation and trying to figure out what you did wrong. As they say, with friends like that, who needs enemies?
Lord, teach me to be an encouragement to others. May those I interact with be strengthened in their walk with God.