“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit. But this is what you concealed in your heart, and I know that this was in your mind: If I sinned, you would be watching me and would not let my offense go unpunished.” (Job 10:10-14)
Job’s complaint continues in chapter 10. I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint (10:1). Job feels he has nothing to lose by complaining to God. He has already lost everything. What more could happen to him? God has already taken everything away. There is nothing more that can be done except for God to take his life…and in many ways this is what Job wants. Why then did you bring me out of the womb? I wish I had died before any eye saw me (10:18).
The first thought I had this morning was the fact that God allows Job’s complaint to be recorded in Scripture. That is amazing. Job’s despair is immense and his words border on blasphemy at times. “God, You are out to get me. What is your deal? Why don’t you leave me alone. If I am guilty, why is my crime so great that you have to stalk me like a lion? Am I a threat to you?” God is not threatened by such statements. In fact, He wants us to read them. Why? Perhaps so that when we struggle with similar thoughts we won’t bottle them up and act like they don’t exist. Perhaps so we will be honest before God. Perhaps so that we will realize that even the greatest of saints sometimes go through deep valleys where the only light at the end of the tunnel seems to be death.
Verses 10-14 also stood out to me. In these verses Job basically recounts God’s fashioning of him in the womb and His gracious providence over his early life. Job has seen God’s richest blessings. But now, in suffering, Job wonders if it all was just a big trick, a big game. “God set me up so that He could enjoy watching me fall. He was simply waiting for one mistake to unleash His anger on me.”
I don’t think this is an uncommon view of God. He blesses you until you make one mistake…and then watch out! It is almost as if, deep down, we think God’s love can’t be that unconditional. There has to be strings attached. There has to be some catch. We’ve never really seen unconditional love in our human relationships so it is hard to fathom it in our relationship to God. Job can’t and often we can’t either.
But we have a benefit that Job did not have. We have the benefit of seeing the love of God in the person of Jesus Christ. Christ is God’s assurance to us that He loves us. And that nothing can separate us from His love. I remember a quote by Michael Card: “God cannot love us more and will not love us less.” Even when we blow it, God still responds with grace. Since we are “in Christ,” He chooses to see us with the righteousness of Christ rather than with the stains of sin. When He sees us, He does not see our sin. He sees His Son.
Thank You, Lord, for Your grace! May I understand it more and rejoice in it more today.