To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. (Job 6:14)
In Job 4-5, Eliphaz, the oldest of Job’s three friends, is the first to speak. Here is where the book of Job can get tricky. What does Eliphaz say to Job and how much of it is correct?
Looking back over Job 4-5, here are the main points that Eliphaz makes:
- Those who sow trouble reap the same. The innocent do not perish, the wicked do.
- A spirit told me in the night that man is dust, weak, and unrighteous therefore he has no right to question God.
- A foolish man may succeed for awhile but in the end he will be destroyed.
- God delivers the righteous and they experience peace and health in this lifetime.
- “Happy is the man whom God corrects; therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty” (Job 5:17; Prov. 3:11-12; Heb. 12:5).
A lot of what Eliphaz says is on the money. There are consequences to sin. There are benefits to living righteously. Man is but dust. God is righteous. And God’s discipline is an evidence of His love. In fact, his words in 5:17 are almost a word for word quotation of Proverbs 3 and Hebrews 12. Eliphaz even uses a “spiritual vision” to bolster his words. “A spirit in the night told me many of these truths.” Eliphaz is quite a ”spiritual man,” spouting out truth and using personal, mystical experiences to validate his words.
So what’s the problem? It is not so much Eliphaz’s words as his response to Job’s suffering. Here is Job grieving the loss of ten children and in extreme physical and emotional pain and Eliphaz chooses this time to tell him: “Happy is the man whom God corrects!” True words, wrong application and really bad timing.
Job’s response to Eliphaz in chapter 6 shows his heart. Job doesn’t need theological correction and instruction right now. He needs comfort, support, help. Job may say some incorrect things in his pain. He is pouring out his heart, expressing his emotions. He doesn’t need friends who analyze his words. He just needs them to listen, to allow him to grieve, struggle, and even fight with God.
In 6:14, Job says, “To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” That verse hit me the most. A true friend continues to show kindness even when his friend loses or struggles with his faith. Love and kindness should not hinge on theological correctness.
There is much to learn here. At times, we know people who, in the midst of tragedy, begin to question God, struggle with faith, despair of life. The tendency is to try to correct their viewpoints or keep them from saying “negative things.” In time, they may need such correction but in the midst of the pain they just need a friend not a theologian. They need an ear to listen not a mouth spouting out “wisdom.”
It is hard to be in this position. It is uncomfortable. We like to “fix” a person’s pain not experience it with them. Job really identifies the problem in 6:21, “Now you too have proved to be of no help; you see something dreadful and are afraid.” Eliphaz feels the need to spout out his theology not to help Job but to deal with his own fears. Suffering scares us. It is easier to put the blame on the sufferer than to feel the pain with them and acknowledge that sometimes suffering happens without any rhyme or reason (from a human standpoint). If suffering can happen at any time, then it can happen to me, at any time, even when I am living faithfully for the Lord. This is not a pleasant thought. But it is real. And it amplifies the need we have for God’s strength and the daily encouragement of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Lord, help me to overcome my fears to be a faithful friend when someone I know and love is suffering with pain.